Worldchanger
by everlovingdeer
Summary: He stilled as he neared the threshold, throwing me one final glance from over his shoulder. "I thought you would protect your family, that you would want it so desperately that it would be enough to make you set your Gryffindor pride aside. But perhaps I was wrong."
1. Worldchanger

The fact that in this day and age, being a half-blood and being a _female_ half-blood at that, worked to reduce the speed at which you moved up the ranks of the Ministry was downright ridiculous. And it was something that I struggled to wrap my head around.

It had been four years since I'd left Hogwarts and started to work in the Ministry and I was still only working to look over paperwork . That alone was downright frustrating. My capabilities were far greater than the higher-ups liked to believe and I knew it was because of my _faulty blood_ rather than my gender. Godric it was enough to make anyone's head burst. But I refused to get complacent and give them a reason to boot me out of the position it took me so long to acquire.

So, what if the majority of my time was spent rearranging paperwork of the laws that were soon going to pass? It was tedious at best but if I thought positively, it also gave me time to look over the rulings that were going to end up shaping the world I lived in. Even if I didn't agree with some of them, it wasn't up to me to change them.

The current paperwork I was looking over, one to reverse a law that had placed a hunting ban on magical creatures that were labelled endangered, was one such law. The protective law had only been in place for 4 years and already some spoiled pureblood aristocrat was so miffed about not being able to hunt for a sport that he bought the legislation. Everyone knew that was how things worked around here; those with money got to do what they wanted. It was their world and we were all just living in it. But it wouldn't remain that way for long –

A knock on the door was usually the only warning I got whenever one of the higher-ups would turn up at my office to retrieve the paperwork they had left behind days before. Gathering the folder of information on the next law that was supposed to be discussed on the Wizengamot floor, I rose to my feet at the familiar sound. Only, the moment my eyes shifted to the door and took in the sight of the man standing there, I was quick to lower the folder again.

Just the sight of him standing there had me on the defensive; shoulders squared and arms drawn tight to my side as if to reduce the size of the area he could attack. He noticed the change in posture, and clucked his tongue as he walked into the office without waiting to be invited in.

"Now there's no need for that," he admonished slowly, watching as I lowered myself into my seat. Crossing one leg over the other, I continued to watch him without a word. Even when his progress through my office continued, even when he came to a stop directly in front of my desk, I did nothing more than watch him closely. My eyes followed his hand as he outstretched it to play with one of the inkwells on the desk. "Have you seen the newly proposed legislation?"

"Which one?" I asked eventually, straightening my back as I watched him because whatever legislation he was on about, there must have been something about it to bring _Lucius Malfoy_ to my office. Continuing to fiddle with the other knick-knacks on my desk, Lucius looked at me contemplatively from beneath his lashes, "So many pass through my hands on a daily basis."

"There's one that bypassed you," he saw fit to inform me confidently. I considered him for a moment, watching as he straightened to his full height and reached into the inner pocket of his robes. Drawing out an innocuously folded piece of parchment, he added, "It's almost going to be put into use. Would you like to read it through?"

And before I could even begin to formulate an answer about how it was against the rules- _illegal_ – to be looking at that confidential document, he held it out towards me. There must have been a reason that it wasn't assigned to me and yet there must have also been a reason that it was being hidden from me. The foolhardy Gryffindor in me won out, prompting me to reach out for the parchment.

Unfolding it with ease, I made it only part way through the first paragraph before my hands tightened on the parchment, creasing it beneath my fingers. I didn't dare read any further and yet I forced myself to carry on. My mouth parting in outrage, I struggled to think coherently enough to formulate a sentence. It turned that I didn't need to.

"I thought you might be interested in it," he murmured lowly, giving me a pointed stare. And Godric, for all the courage I thought I possessed, I couldn't bring myself to ask how he knew. If he had found out then who else could possibly find out? And how?

Refusing to be backed into a corner, I raised my chin and stared defiantly into his eyes, "And why are you showing me this?"

He gave a small arrogant smile as if I had asked him the very question he'd been waiting for, from the moment he stepped foot into my office. "I have enough money to bury laws, Lupin. To build laws from scratch if I want to, to even reshape the ministry itself."

"You wouldn't do this from the good of your heart Malfoy, not you. This will, of course, have a price."

"Of course," he agreed with a gracious nod that caused the corners of my mouth to tighten.

"Well name it."

"You already know my asking price," he declared softly, backtracking as he prepared to leave.

"Why can you not just leave things well alone?" I demanded finally, rising from my seat to watch as he walked out.

He stilled as he neared the threshold, throwing me one final glance from over his shoulder. "I thought you would protect your family, that you would want it so desperately that it would be enough to make you set your Gryffindor pride aside. But perhaps I was wrong."

Lucius made his exit without another word. And it was only after I sank back into my seat with a heavy sigh that I realised he had left the copy of the legislation with me.

Damn him and damn this Ministry.

* * *

The rest of my night was spent studying all there was to know about wizarding law, all that was outlined on that single piece of parchment in the hopes of finding some sort of loophole. Even if I found one small mistake in the wording, one slip up, then I could take things from there. But it was immaculate; the very first legislation to reach my hands without a single mistake. Because that was my job – to find loopholes and remove them but this just _would_ be the very first without one such loophole.

And then once I had forced myself to accept that there was no loophole for this law, I couldn't sleep. Until the sun rose, I spent every waking moment pondering over the real consequences that would happen once this law passed – because it would, without a doubt, pass. There was no telling how large a number of people would be affected because of this one law, but I knew that my family would be hit. I was not the sort to sit around and allow people to hurt my family.

There was the obvious answer; give in to Lucius. It was the only answer to this situation, the only way that assured this damned law never saw the light of day. I knew what I had to do, what was required of me and yet I couldn't accept it. Sooner or later I was going to have to force myself to accept it. Even now, as I sat at work, no doubt looking a sight, I continued to hope that some other solution would spring forth. Of course, it didn't.

If I walked into what would be the next chapter of my life, I would have to do it with my own two feet. I spent the majority of what was probably the least productive working day of my life, staring at the clock. The Wizengamot was supposed to meet today, to discuss some of the 'smaller' laws that were being put into action and I was waiting anxiously for when the members would grace the Department of Law Enforcement before taking a trip to the lower levels. Lucius's father sat on the Wizengamot, as did many heads of pureblood families, and if Lucius's regular presence meant anything, he was preparing to take over that seat soon. I would need to catch him then.

The Wizengamot members usually started to arrive at the Department half an hour before the session was set to begin and as that half, an hour time period drew closer, I abandoned my desk for pacing in front of the door. I had opened the door to my office earlier, not wanting to miss him because what was I going to do if the law was being discussed _today_ and I was too late with my answer?

As the voices in the corridor grew louder, my heart started to beat _much_ faster; they were here. Hovering by the door, I watched as one by one the members of the Wizengamot drew closer with Abraxas Malfoy leading the way with his son a short distance behind. I kept my eyes focused on the Malfoy heir, wondering how to get his attention. But as he drew closer, his eyes naturally swept across the hallway and met mine. He arched an eyebrow in silent question and I gestured for him to approach me.

Leaning in to speak a few words to his father, Lucius stepped away from him and made an immediate beeline for my office. I waited until he crossed the threshold to shut the door behind him; I didn't need others to hear my humiliation. And, if judging by the curious glances that were cast towards me before I shut them out, they would make their own assumptions about what was going on.

I simply stared at the closed door for a good moment, taking that time to still my rapidly racing heart, to indulge in what would be my last moment of freedom. With a deep breath, I turned around and found Lucius sitting behind _my_ desk on _my_ chair. He crossed his arms over his chest, watching as I pressed my back against the door instead of coming any closer towards him.

"I have business to attend to," he reminded me slowly, leaning as far back in my seat as he could. "The last time I was here you couldn't even bring yourself to look at me and yet you called me into here of your own free will. What is going on?"

With a shuddering exhale, I forced myself to cross the room towards my desk. He found my approach so unusual that he leaned forward, pressing his crossed arms onto the table. Forcing my feet onwards until I was _right_ across from him, I reached into my inner robe pocket and drew out the parchment that hadn't left my presence from the moment he'd handed it over to me.

"Buy it," I asked quietly, holding it out towards him. Merlin, even though I didn't want to look at him, I found myself watching him from under my eyelashes, "Buy this one and make sure that no one ever has the chance of passing it."

He reached out with a steady hand for the parchment, eyes on mine. I expected him to be smiling victorious, finally having gotten what he wanted and that would be of character for him. But he wasn't smirking or even smiling. Instead, he watched me solemnly, looking over my features for a moment before he tucked the parchment safely into his robe pockets. He might have been wearing a poker face but his eyes remained triumphant.

* * *

Lucius returned to my office the very next day, as I expected him to. He would never have agreed and then just disappeared out of my life, that would not be the Malfoy thing to do. I worked slowly, reading through the proposals in search of a loophole. But Godric, some of these proposed laws went so against my morals that I was tempted not to highlight those loopholes. It would only get me in trouble if it was found out that I purposefully allowed a loophole to slip past me. But then again, it _wouldn't_ be the first time I had turned a blind eye.

Marking the legislation papers as being perfect, I put them to the side and reached for the very next one. But before I could properly begin to read through it, there was a slight knock on the door. Only the person on the other side didn't wait to be invited inside and instead walked right in. And when I saw who it was, I wasn't surprised. Lucius let himself into my office, shutting the door behind him and without a word, I straightened in my seat to watch his approach.

He walked towards my desk like I knew he would, drawing out a very familiar piece of parchment and set it on my desk. I instantly unfolded it, and the sight of the word REJECTED stamped in red ink across the parchment made me want to smile in utter relief. But I concealed it, not wanting to show him. Instead, I raised my eyes to meet the grey eyes waiting for me, "Somehow I'm not surprised at you managed to get this done so quickly."

"I'm a Malfoy," he said simply and it was enough of an explanation. He remained standing for only a moment longer before plucking a quill from my desk and transfiguring it into a chair. Easing himself into it, he withdrew another piece of paper from his robes and extended it out for me to take. "Read it through carefully so you know exactly what you're signing up for."

I waited for a long moment, thinking that he was going to leave. And when he didn't, I arched an eyebrow and asked dryly, "You're going to sit here to make sure that I read it all properly."

"Of course."

With a sigh, I unfolded the parchment and set about reading it through. And because the person to deliver what was clearly a _contract_ to me was Lucius Malfoy, I made sure to read it all carefully. And Godric, although I would never admit it, it was a good thing that he was insistent on being beside me as I read it.

"Marriage," I said instantly, the word coming out as a half gasp as my eyes shot towards his. "Marriage, Lucius, you cannot –"

"Did you expect any less?" He arched an eyebrow arrogantly as I hadn't met his expectations. "It's rather costly to bury such a popular proposal."

"But still _marriage_." I struggled to understand, letting the parchment slip from between my fingers. Although it was a cheap shot, I needed to remind him, "I'm a half-blood."

"I'm aware."

"I'm assuming _this_ ," I started, gesturing to the fallen parchment, "goes on to mention children or _heirs._ " And when he nodded calmly, I felt the need to point out, "The next generation of Malfoys would be _half-bloods_."

"The Malfoy family have been known to marry half-bloods in order to keep the genetics clean," Lucius pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest as if daring me to come up with another excuse.

"And here I was thinking that _blood purity_ meant the world to you." I found myself crossing my own arms as I leaned back in my chair, neither of us willing to lose.

" _Family_ means the world to the Malfoys – the Malfoy name ranks above all else." Drawing his pocket watch out from his robes, he took a quick peek at the time. "All that's left is for you to gain my father's approval."

"And if your father refuses me?" I asked, feeling a slight glimmer of hope.

"That won't happen," he assured me, sounding overly confident. "Marriage will lie a few years in the future, we can postpone it until then. Besides, it gives you all the time you need to win my father over."

"As if winning Abraxas Malfoy over is an easy feat," I piped up dryly.

For a moment I swore he smiled a little but it was gone in the next second. "I would like for our relationship to be as natural as possible."

Making no efforts to conceal that scoff that left me, I pointed out, "You have essentially blackmailed me into this by testing the extent of my love for my family."

"We're both gaining something from this," he insisted, resolute. "That's the way Malfoys have always married."

"Somehow I'm not surprised," I muttered, reaching for the contract again. This time I was determined to read it all through with a fine-tooth comb and if I found a loophole, I _certainly_ wasn't going to point it out to him. Lucius remained sitting across from me, watching as I read over the contract twice

Just as I prepared to read it through the third time, he spoke so quietly that I knew he didn't really expect a response to his question, "Did you ever miss me?"

I gave no outward reaction, appearing as if I was simply continuing to read the parchment when in fact my eyes were staring a hole into it. The simple answer to his question; yes, at some point I had missed him. But I quickly grew not to. At some point, after weeks and weeks of glancing across the Great Hall to find him acting like I didn't enter his mind even as an errant thought, I stopped missing him. Or rather that was what I told myself.

And that was why I raised my eyes from the paper in my hands to say firmly, "No."

* * *

Despite Lucius's claims that I had years to get used to the prospect of our _marriage_ – as if that was enough time to get used to that inevitability – he was certainly rushing things. And even if he claimed that he _wasn't_ rushing things, that would be an outright lie. Because if he wasn't then he certainly wouldn't have me already standing outside of his family Manor within a week of signing that contract. Damn that contract and damn whoever wrote that contract for Lucius because that thing was perfect, with absolutely no loophole to be found.

Somehow, Malfoy Manor was much more intimidating than I had ever thought it was capable of being. Despite having heard a lot about the Manor from Lucius, nothing had prepared me for when I would be confronted with this situation. And Godric knew that nothing prepared me either for the way my heart fell suddenly into my stomach.

"It's rather too late to be backing out of this," Lucius spoke up slowly by my side; he had come out of the Manor to escort me inside. When I refused to take another step forward, he had naturally stopped beside me.

"I know that," I retorted, shooting him a look. "And besides even if I _did_ want to back out, the Gryffindor in me won't let me."

"Well you Gryffindors always were a stupid bunch," he said dryly, reaching out to slip his hand into mine. And before I could draw away at the feel of his hand against my own, he tightened his hold briefly to discourage me against the action that he knew was on my mind. It was so different from how things used to be.

 _It was strange to think that at one point in time I had felt shy to do this, to walk through the school halls hand in hand with my boyfriend. But perhaps what was even stranger was that **he** had been the one that was more at ease about it. Godric knew that the entirety of the school probably expected him to be more reserved when it came to such outwards signs of being in a relationship. But that really wasn't the case. And at some point, after having walked these very halls, hand in hand with the very same man, I was no longer awkward. In fact, I clung to his hand. _

_Lucius had a rather surprising habit of walking me to my lessons, even if it was out of the way from his own class. And despite how much I insisted that he didn't need to do it, he insisted – in that gruff Malfoy manner of his – that he **wanted** to. Well, who was I to say anything against that? Especially when I knew that in these minutes between our classes, this was likely the extent of our physical displays of affection. Neither of us was the type to be as overly expressive in public as other couples were but that was alright for us. _

_"You want to know something?" I asked after a moment's thought, peering up into his face._

 _"What?" he asked and despite sounding detached, he squeezed my hand warmly and peered down at me with a small, barely there, smile._

 _"My friends all think that I'm insane for dating you," I confessed only to admit teasingly, "I think I'm a bit insane as well."_

 _"I always did say that you Gryffindors are a stupid bunch."_

 _Scowling playfully, I nudged him with my shoulder and Lucius only laughed so quietly that the people around us would have missed it. "Lucius."_

 _"I'm not going to take it back," he insisted. After a moment's pause, he added, "I'm sure they're all jealous anyway."_

 _"Sometimes I wonder how you walk around with that huge head of yours Malfoy."_

 _"It's only true," he assured me, squeezing my hand once again and drawing me closer to his side after I spied my classroom and tried to walk ahead. "After all, you're going to be wearing my ring pretty soon."_

 _"Oh please," I rolled my eyes as we finally reached the room where most of my classmates had already headed inside. "Don't go getting ahead of yourself."_

 _Finally dropping his hand and turning to head back into the classroom, I stopped once again when he caught my hand to draw me back towards him. I looked curiously back towards my boyfriend who took a step towards me. My eyes refused to leave his, searching his eyes as I tried to figure out what he wanted. But the confusion was soon wiped away when he dropped a tentative kiss to the top of my head._

 _"I'll be here to pick you up after the lesson ends," he promised, sounding level-headed as usual, as if he hadn't just kissed me in the middle of the school hall._

 _"I'll be counting the minutes," I returned, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek._

 _I turned away, hurrying towards the classroom but not before I saw the smile that spread across his face. Of course, it was gone before anyone could see it; he simply **couldn't** have anyone seeing him that way. _

_And as I stepped into the classroom, it was only natural that I noticed the jealous stares thrown towards me by some of the girls. Apparently, my boyfriend was a real catch for most pureblood girls and how dare I – a **half-blood** – try to steal him away? Merlin, it was stupid. Thankfully spying my friends, I hurried to my usual table and took a seat. _

_Even as I sat, removing my things for the lesson, I couldn't help but wonder how many of those girls saw Lucius as just Lucius and how many of them say him as Lucius **Malfoy.** How many of them could say that they didn't see him without his surname attached? _

"Are you ready?" Lucius asked from beside me, bringing me out of my thoughts. I took a good moment to look at him, to see the ways that he had changed since our sixth year. He had gone from a boy into a man and yet, I much preferred the boy he used to be in my fondest memories.

"Does it really matter if I'm ready?" I asked eventually, sighing as I grieved the loss of that boy.

Lucius looked over me for a moment, looking me over as if in search of something. Clearly not finding what he wanted, he turned away and faced the front once again. Slightly tightening his hold on my hand, he finally led me into Malfoy Manor.

* * *

When Lucius had first placed the contract in front of me, I had considered many of the possible consequences that I would have to face as a result of allowing him back into my life. And despite knowing what all of those consequences would be, I had chosen to sign that contract. But when I thought of every single possibility, I had somehow managed to forget that at some point I would have to tell my parents. I would have to tell _Remus_. Merlin, I was surprised that I had managed to forget all about it.

Now, when confronted with actually having to do it, I was close to chickening out. Remus had _just_ returned home from school for the holiday and did I really want to ruin his return with the news? But then, then I remembered the sort of person that Lucius was, and suddenly the possibility of _Lucius_ being the one to tell my family seemed very real. Because that was what the bastard was like; if it seemed like I was even considering hiding everything from my family, he would see to it to make sure that there was nothing left to hide. I knew that I needed to tell my family but perhaps I should have waited longer. Maybe it wasn't best to bring it up just as Mum had brought out dessert.

"You're … dating?" Dad repeated slowly, sending Mum a look that was clearly asking for her to save him.

And I, I was too busy breaking my apple crumble into pieces to lift my head. But even still I nodded and managed a quiet, "Yeah."

"That's great," Mum assured me gently and when I risked a glance across the table, I realised that she was smiling. "Anyone, we know?"

My spoon stilled for only a moment before I was shovelling some apple crumble into my mouth to delay my answer. Remus saw right through me, turning his body in his seat to look at me with narrowed eyes.

"Who is it?" he repeated, sounding more firm than Mum had.

"It's, um, someone you know," I evaded for a moment before gathering my courage. Letting out a breath, I made sure to look at Mum because I knew she would be the least judgemental. "It's Lucius."

Remus reacted to the news first, exclaiming loudly, "Surely you don't mean _Lucius Malfoy_?"

Part of me wanted to sarcastically ask whether he knew another Lucius but I didn't. Instead, I just nodded and when I looked cautiously towards my younger brother, his mouth was parted incredulously. I had managed to render him speechless.

While I was at it, I might as well reveal everything. "The way things are progressing, I think we'll end up getting married."

For a minute I swore that Dad faltered a little in his seat and once again I looked to Mum for help. She struggled for a moment before giving me a genuine smile and offering, "Congratulations, sweetheart."

"Does no one else remember how heartbroken you were when the pair of you split?" Remus piped in, suddenly growing quiet when Dad shot him a look.

"Regardless," Dad started clearing his throat, "I'm glad you've managed to work things out."

The rest of our meal was spent in silence as I picked at my dessert, avoiding the piercing stare of Remus who seemed intent to force a hole into the side of my head. Once we were finished, I rose to my feet, wanting to offer Mum help but she just told me to rest after a hard day's work. I gratefully took the chance to avoid having to answer any more awkward questions. Not that it would last longer.

I had just made it to my room when Remus suddenly stormed in, shutting the door behind him and essentially barring it shut with his body. He locked his eyes onto mine as I sat cross-legged on my bed and did his very best to stare me down.

"Why are you doing this?" he demanded and I took a moment to look over my brother who was almost as tall as the door.

When had he grown so much? Remus, five years my junior, had always seemed like a baby to me. In his first year, I had been in my sixth and there always seemed to be this huge need to protect him. And protect him I did. I was even continuing to do it now. No matter how fervently my brother protested that he didn't need my protection because he was in his sixth year, he still remained my baby brother. He still needed to be looked after, even if he thought otherwise.

"Are you even listening to me?" he demanded. "Well, what's your answer?"

"Wait a moment," I said with a sigh, as I rose to my feet.

Heading to my desk table, I pulled out the top drawer and picked out the piece of parchment that was right at the top. I held it out towards my brother who faltered at the sight of it before forcing his feet forward and taking it from me. He unfolded it, reading across it slowly.

"This," he started anxiously, eyes growing wide as he peered at me from over the parchment, "what does this mean for me? What happens when the Ministry finds out I'm a werewolf? They'll lock me away in Azkaban? For what? I haven't done –"

"Remus," I soothed gently, crossing the space between us and reaching for my brother. He lowered his head into my waiting hands and breathed out deeply as I rubbed my thumb soothingly back and forth across his cheek. "Nothing, this means _nothing_ for you."

He shook his head quickly, protesting, "Didn't you read it?"

"I blocked it."

He furrowed his brows. "How? You're not in a position to be blocking any laws."

"Apparently money makes the world go around," I murmured and it was enough. For my brilliant, brilliant brother, it was enough.

"Then the Malfoys have more than enough money to shape the world into the way they want," he said slowly, searching my eyes and instantly he reached out to pull me into his arms. And just like that, he was my baby brother again, apologising for the trouble he had caused with a hug when he knew words would simply not be enough. "If only I wasn't –"

"Don't," I ordered, throat tight. It was enough. Having Remus able to live his life with no restriction on where he could work, what he could do, who he could love was worth it. As long as Remus was happy, it was more than enough for me.

* * *

When Lucius next stopped by my office again, I didn't so much as sigh at the sight of him. I had decided a while ago to keep the quill he transfigured as a chair because no doubt, he would be returning often. It didn't take long for him to prove me right. In fact, he was at my office so often that after shutting the door, he instantly pointed his wand towards the chair I'd placed at the corner of the room before levitating towards my desk.

As I continued to watch him, I thought the same thing I always did; he had gotten more handsome with age. It was one of the many changes to him. But that didn't change his personality, though. He remained his usual arrogant, entitled self.

When he took his usual seat, Lucius raised his eyes to mine. "Your colleagues have begun to talk."

"Only because of how often you visit my office," I shot back, turning my attention to the paper I was supposed to be reading and noting down the first loophole I managed to stumble across.

"They're speculating about the relationship we must share," he went on to say as if I hadn't spoken a word. He waited until I raised my eyes to meet his again before admitting, "It is a fairly natural beginning."

"If you say so."

He frowned at my unenthusiastic response and saw the need to remind me, "That _is_ how our relationship began the first time, anyway; I continued to approach you."

I bit my tongue, forcing down the retort that I didn't need the unnecessary reminder. Gaining my composure, I skewered him to his seat with my gaze as I asked, "Why are you here?"

He answered me without a word; reaching into his pocket he drew out a small ring box. Holding it in his hand for a moment, he then leaned forward to set on the table. When I refused to pick it up at first, Lucius continued to watch me, silently daring me to do it. And it was then that the Gryffindor in me came forward and I picked it up. It took me a moment longer to open it though.

When I did, I found myself looking at a set of two bands. The first was far simpler than the second; a silver band with a single emerald stone. It was familiar and from my knowledge of it, it was a Malfoy family heirloom. An heirloom that he had given to me whilst he'd been in his seventh year and I had been in my sixth. It was also the one that I'd thrown back in his face. The second, the second was one I had never seen before; a silver band with a sizable diamond in the middle with two on either side. The reality of what it meant was startling; this was really happening.

Setting the box aside with a sigh, I lifted my eyes to the ones that had been carefully monitoring my reaction from the moment I'd picked up the box. "I thought we had years?"

"We do," he agreed after a moment's thought and reaching out for the box. He shifted it between both hands. "But perhaps we should speed this one part up a little more."

"Why?"

Reaching into the box, he drew out one of the rings and when he held it out towards me, I realised it was the first one. The one I had previously owned. "It will appear strange if you don't have one."

"You're right," I agreed if only to lower his defences for a moment. If I was going to go into this, then I would be going into it while possessing all of the information. That was the smart thing to do.

I leaned forward, reaching out for the ring. But before I took it, I moved to push the sleeve of his outstretched arm back, baring his marked forearm. Drawing in a deep breath through clenched teeth, my eyes flicked accusingly towards his. I knew he was no saint, he hadn't hidden the blood supremacy he used to feel and Merlin, I did think that because he dated me, he must have no longer felt that way. Because he _couldn't_ have been dating me whilst feeling that way. Only the reason behind our breakup was more than enough proof that I was wrong.

And now, what more proof did I need; it was inked all over the skin of his arm.

Dropping my hand, I made no move to accept the ring and considered Lucius for a long moment. Him bearing that mark and him wanting to marry me made no sense. How could the same person want both of those things?"How exactly would _your Lord_ feel about this relationship."

"What does that matter?" he said back instantly and so resolutely that my eyes rose, more than a little impressed. He must have grown a spine in the years we'd been parted. "I'm selfish, you know that better than most. I stand something to gain from both sides and whatever side I can gain more from, that's the side I will support."

"I'm not surprised," I managed to murmur.

And when he spoke next, it was only after he held the ring aloft again and kept his eyes on mine, "If there is more for me to gain my switching sides then I would gladly do it."

Rather than being swayed by the words he had slowly spoken, I shot back, "Do you still think of me as a possession to gain Lucius?"

* * *

Apparently, if the invitation I received to his birthday party was anything to go by, I had been successful at making Lucius's father like me. Although I had no idea what I had done and despite leaving the Manor thinking that the patriarch of the Malfoy family hated me, that didn't seem to be the case. In fact, he'd gone as far as to have his son's hand deliver the invitation to me and I'd spent a good long moment simply staring at it before Lucius had thought to remind me that I couldn't skip out. As if I hadn't already known that.

Lucius had thought it best for us to enter the party together because otherwise people would be being to talk. And whilst I had agreed, I refused to allow him to pick me up from home because Merlin knew that I wasn't ready to have him integrating with my family. That was an inevitability that I was going to delay for as long as possible.

But even now, as I stood at Lucius's side, dressed in robes that were the most uncomfortable things I'd ever owned I knew that it was something I couldn't continue to push back. I had been brought into the world of the Malfoy family and he, in return, would need to be included into mine.

I couldn't say that the robes were out of place because I could only expect the Malfoy family to throw such an over the top birthday party. If Lucius _hadn't_ stepped in to tell me what to wear, I certainly would have stuck out amongst the pureblood elite that filed the entirety of the room. That alone would have made this evening much more intolerable.

My mind continued to wonder, refusing to listen to the conversations that were going on around me. Not that I could say they were quality conversations either. How was it that even years after we had left Hogwarts, Lucius's friends refused to mature, to find other things to talk about. Instead of adding to their conversation for _moral reasons_ , I raised my flute of champagne to my mouth, glancing across the room. There was not a single person here that I would voluntarily social with.

The warmth of Lucius's hand against the small of my back brought me from my thoughts, making me look curiously towards him. He gave a small smile, knowing he'd caught me out, but without a word, he gestured to the man standing across from the pair of us.

I followed shortly, looking towards Avery with an unimpressed frown. "I take it that you were asking how I felt about your outdated opinions? Because honestly, I'm wondering how you haven't managed to change in any way. They say it's a bad thing to refuse to grow."

"The muggles might say that," Avery began slowly, eyes narrowing dangerously on mine. "But I don't tend to associate with people I consider to be beneath me. Frankly, I don't know why I'm talking to you right now, Lupin."

I scoffed, raising my flute to my mouth again instead of bothering to answer him. But Lucius didn't seem to want to restrain himself in such a way. He cleared his throat warning, narrowing his eyes at Avery. And Avery, as if remembering who he was talking to – who I was – took a slight step back.

"Is there something you want to say?" Lucius demanded quietly.

"You – you just used to have higher standards."

"Malfoys always have the best – without fail." Lucius's hand moved from the small of my back to wrap securely around my waist. "Why should I be any different?"

His friends fell silent, trying to think of something else to speak of. And Lucius, well he decided to drill the point firmly in their heads, just in case they were slow enough not to understand. He dropped a kiss to my temple, one that was no doubt meant to warn them from speaking again in such a manner but Merlin, it made me want to draw away from him. I _did_ try. Prompting him to look down at me questioningly.

How was I supposed to tell him that the small act of affection brought back unwanted memories of our time at school? Of the way that the very friends who were surrounding us now, were the catalyst to our break up? They had, after all, been the ones to push him towards Narcissa Black, even whilst we'd been dating. Of course, they justified it by saying they were worried about Lucius getting involved with someone beneath him, about him sullying his blood. Never had I imagined that _that_ would be the reason he threw in my face. Not that he'd said it outright.

No, he'd given me some bullshit made up answer that was supposed to stop me from getting hurt, from ruining the pristine reputation of the Head Boy. Even if, by all accounts, that Head Boy was going on to date another girl in the year below mine. Despite his fervent claims that he loved me, that he wanted to marry me, when it counted he couldn't bring himself to look past what he considered to be a flaw in my blood.

I, well, I was so proud of my blood, of my parents that I didn't agree. Godric I refused to consider them a flaw, I refused to think of my family in that way. Why were his family considered noble and aristocratic and his biggest strength, and mine the very opposite?

He felt the way I stiffened and I knew he did from the way the fingers on the hand around my waist tightened, gripping me as if to prevent what he knew was coming next. Not that it did.

"Excuse me," I said quietly, drawing away and out of his arms so I could get another drink. I would _definitely_ be needing it.

But it appeared that the Malfoy men were insistent on holding my attention today. Just as I reached to find another glass, Lucius's father decided to apprehend me then. He took me by the arm, linking mine through his and escorting me over to a group of older men and although at first, I was worried about what they would say, my worries proved pointless. It appeared that Mr Malfoy liked me better than I thought as he proceeded to call me one of the Ministry's best and brightest. Flushing pleasantly, I did my best to ignore the weight of his son's stare on my back.

* * *

I couldn't prevent Lucius from meeting my family much longer. He had insisted that it was only fair that I introduced him to my family as well but Merlin, it was the last thing I wanted to do. But surely it was better to get it over with because that meant my family had longer to get used to him. And Merlin, it would take a while for that to happen. Especially when I considered what his opinion towards people like my mother used to be. However was he going to hide that?

The answer to that was apparently with a charming smile on his face. I watched, taken by complete surprise as he continued to sit beside my father, talking about the work he used to do. And when he went on to confess that he followed along with Dad's old cases, I wanted to call his bluff. But then I remembered that he admitted so whilst we were in school as well so perhaps, he was telling the truth about this one thing.

Maybe he had brought up his interest in my father's work to try to win him over because Godric knew my father was outwardly unimpressed with him. He _was_ after all the father of the woman who'd had her heart broken by the very man sitting next to him. I was more than a little impressed at the front he put on.

Remus, back from school for the Easter holidays, remained sitting by my side and continued to shoot me pointed glances about Lucius which I continued to ignore. Part of me wanted to tell him that I was just as unhappy about having Lucius in our home as he was. But that would make our parents suspicious and Godric if Dad found out about the truth behind everything then I was done for. There would be no way he would let me marry Lucius and who knew what would happen to the law I had given my everything to block. If I backed out, would the law be brought back into the running?

Who was I kidding? He would definitely bring it back out.

And during the moment when I lost myself thinking about the possibility of my parents finding out, of me being unable to protect Remus, Lucius had exchanged some quiet words with my brother. Whatever he had said to him, had rendered Remus speechless. When I looked curiously towards him, Remus bolted to his feet so quickly that everyone's eyes swung toward him. Even Mum, who was occupying Lucius's curiosity of all things muggle, looked at him in concern. Not that Remus noticed.

No, my brother's eyes shot towards me as he leaned down to grab my hand. Looking at him in surprise, I followed him out of the room when he silently tugged on my hand. We reached the corridor and I watched as my brother drew out his wand and cast a silencing charm around us.

"Remus?" I started cautiously. "Is there something wrong?"

He struggled for a long moment, not knowing how to formulate his words. But then he said simply, "You told him my birthday."

"Your birthday?" I repeated questioningly with a frown; I didn't need to ask who he was talking about. "I told him years ago."

"Well he remembered," he said, still sounding more than a little shocked as he pulled something out from behind his back. I hadn't even realised that he had hidden his arm behind his back this entire time. "He said it's a late birthday present."

"A potion?" I raised a questioning eyebrow as I looked over the large potion bottle. "I don't get –"

"Wolfsbane," Remus said suddenly, eyes wide. I understood why instantly. When we had discovered the potion together it had seemed like a miracle, one that we had been praying for. But, those thoughts were cruelly snatched away when we realised how expensive it was. Of course, I had offered to pay for it but Remus had shot it down instantly. But unsurprisingly it _wasn't_ too expensive for Lucius Malfoy. "Enough to last me a year, at that. But because of who gave it to me, I don't want to use it."

"Don't be stupid," I said instantly with a shake of my head, looking through the still open doorway towards Lucius who even now was conversing with my mother. "Use it. Make sure to pack it away safely Remus and let Professor Dumbledore know about the potion."

With a final nod of understanding, Remus removed the silencing spell and straight away headed upstairs to pack the potion safely in his bag. I continued to watch my brother for a moment longer before ducking into the living room again only to head straight for Lucius. He spied my approach from the corner of his eye and turned curiously towards me. When I came to a still uselessly before him, he arched a silent eyebrow.

I reached out for his hand, startling him enough for his eyebrows to rise and when I proceeded to pull him out of the room and into the garden, he could do nothing but follow me. Reaching the sanctuary of the garden, far away from anyone's watching eyes, I turned towards him again. Lucius, as if expecting some sort of complaint from me, crossed his arms defensively over his chest.

"You gave Remus a birthday present," I finally managed and I swore the longer I stood beneath his gaze, the faster my heart began to race.

"I did." His eyes narrowed before declaring, "It's not something I will apologise for. Your brother needed it and you shouldn't allow your pride to get in the way of helping your brother, Lupin."

When I didn't refute his words, Lucius lowered his arms back to his side. He continued to watch me, uncertain of my silence, of the way I was watching him. But what was I supposed to say when his impression of what I wanted to convey to him was wrong? I wanted to thank him for helping Remus. Any additional help for Remus – the potion – hadn't been listed in the contract. There was no contractual obligation for him to help him and yet he had.

For some reason, it was so very difficult for the words of thanks to leaving my lips. It was seemingly impossible. But I did need to thank him.

Gnawing on my bottom lip, I took a cautious step towards him and Merlin, the rest of his defensives fluttered and fell to his feet. I continued to watch him, holding his eyes and reaching out to grasp his face in my hands. Lucius didn't dare speak a word, no doubt worried that anything he said might cause me to abandon what would be the first time I reached out for him. Rising to my toes, I drew him down the rest of the way and kissed him. Really, it was only a peck but it was enough.

I pulled away from him quickly, lowering my heels to the ground again and watched him from beneath my lashes. Speaking softly, I made sure he understood just how grateful I was, "Thank you, Lucius."

* * *

The entire department pegged that there was something going on between Lucius and me from one of his very first visits. Usually, the department had a strict policy when it came to the private life interfering with our work life, but for some reason, they all continued to turn a blind eye. And really, that reason was quite obvious; it was to do with _who_ was a big part of my private life. The damn head of department wanted to remain on the good side of the Malfoy family and so he said nothing.

Even when Lucius stole me away an hour early for lunch, all he had to do was announce that to my boss and off we went. The Ministry really was a rich boy's playground and I was just one of those playthings. Although I _was_ being treated unusually well from the moment the Minister found out that I would eventually have the name Malfoy attached to mine.

Lucius had insisted that he wanted to take me out for lunch, and even though we had been sitting at this damned table for so long, my stomach didn't feel even the slightest bit full. And it was all because of the silent man sitting across from me, who was consistently picking at his food without any intention of actually delivering it to his mouth. Merlin, it was enough to ruin anyone's appetite.

Sighing, I tapped my shoe against Lucius's. The effect was instantaneous; he snapped out of whatever daze he was in, lifting his eyes from his plate to meet my gaze.

"What is it?"

"Lucius," I started with another sigh, "do you have to keep picking at your food like that? When your lunch companion keeps picking at their food, it only spoils your appetite."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, lifting his fork to his mouth for the first time.

I watched closely from over the rim of my water glass before calling his name again, gentler this time. His motions slowed until he set both his knife and fork on the side of his plate. "There's clearly something on your mind. Why not share it since I'm here?"

"I was wondering," he began slowly, resting his elbows on the table and clasping his hands together, "that if I hadn't approached you with the ability to bury that proposed law, would we be sitting across from each other like this? Would you have been so willing to bind yourself to me otherwise?"

"Do you want my honest answer?"

"Yes."

"Then no," I said quietly. "Of course, I wouldn't have been willing to bind myself to you unless I had a reason for."

"I understand," he said after a moment's silence. Lucius picked up his knife and fork once again, lowering his head to focus on his plate.

"You threw me away, Malfoy," I explained, feeling the need to justify my answer. "Remember?"

"I regretted it instantly," he confessed with a sigh, reaching for his wine glass and emptying it.

"Well, you never did begin to date Narcissa Black like everyone expected you to."

"I'd already dated the best – why would I downgrade?"

Rolling my eyes, I tried not to scoff, "I would hardly call Narcissa Black, a downgrade."

He remained insistent, "I would."

"Well, you clearly didn't use to think that way," I retorted. "Otherwise you would never have been swayed even slightly otherwise."

"I was never swayed," he tried to protest and realising that I wasn't going to believe him no matter what he said, he leaned far back in his chair and considered me for a moment. "We've gotten off track; would you have ever possibly, in any sequence of events, wind up sitting across from me like this? If I just sought you out the moment, I began to regret everything, or even years later, would you have taken me back? Honestly?"

"Honestly," I repeated under my breath. This would be it, the moment I had to really admit everything, admit the secret hidden deep inside of me that I continued to resent myself for. Even now. "Honestly, I would have wanted to but my pride would have gotten in the way, stopping me even if I was swayed a little."

"I understand – "

"When you presented me with that proposed law and offered to take it away," I cut in before he could misunderstand, "you gave me the chance to put my pride aside. You gave me a reason that was important enough to set aside whatever resentment I felt towards you because if I accepted then – then it would mean that I wasn't someone who missed you so much that I had no self-respect."

"Resentment," he murmured contemplatively. "I wonder how long it will take for that resentment to switch into something else."

I watched him for a long moment, wondering if this was the right time to tell him that the resentment had already changed, that it might never have been there in the first place. Or that it was just another wall I used to put distance between us. But instead of saying a thing, I picked up my glass and kept it as another secret tucked away inside of me.

* * *

Naturally, I found myself spending more and more time at the Manor because Lucius's father often wanted my company and he seemed to be growing reluctant to leave the Manor. He had handed most of his responsibilities to Lucius, including his seat on the Wizengamot and the responsibility of running the manor. Although I tried my best not to get involved with their business, I couldn't help but ask Lucius about it, about whether there was something about his father that I should have known but he insisted there wasn't. And although I knew there was something that they weren't sharing with me, I didn't speak a word of it.

Instead, I wholeheartedly spent my time with Abraxas to make his isolation a little less lonely. Today he had asked if we could play a game of chess and when I admitted that I didn't know how to play, he took the time to teach me. And now, as we played, I was certain that he was extending the game when he could have easily won within the first five minutes.

It was my turn to make the move and I took a long moment to survey the board and just as I reached to pick up my piece, I glanced sharply upwards when I heard him coughing, deep, throaty coughs into his napkin. My mouth parted as the piece fluttered from between my fingers and reached out to help him.

Catching my eyes, he straightened up with a smile as if he hadn't been short of coughing out one of his lungs. "There's no need to worry about me. I'll stick around long enough to hold my first grandchild."

His words were not reassuring in the least. But before I could say otherwise, I caught sight of Lucius who had been hovering a short way behind us, seated and reading a book. He'd stood up at the sound of his father's coughing and upon meeting my gaze, he shook his head.

"It's your turn," his father reminded me and I picked up the piece I had discarded previously. I made my move and the game progressed, even as I wondered just how bad the eldest Malfoy's condition had gotten.

I didn't speak a word of it for the rest of the game. Not even when he rose to his feet to excuse himself for a bit. It was only after Lucius took the seat his father had just abandoned that I finally allowed myself to speak.

"How bad is it?" I asked, watching as Lucius reset the chess board.

"Nothing bad," he assured me in a tone that was meant to portray the very opposite. He didn't even look up at me as he spoke and simply continued moving the pieces. "It comes and goes. But he is getting old, nothing more."

"I understand," I said after taking in a deep breath. Because I did understand everything he was trying to say whilst simultaneously being unable to bring those words to pass his lips.

"Father always loved you," Lucius began, making the first move. "He gave me the push I needed to fix the mistake I made in my youth."

I didn't lift my eyes to meet his and instead picked up a pawn piece and prepared to make my first move. Lucius reached out then, snagging it from my hand and forcing me to meet his insistent eyes.

"I know you might never love me again," he started steadily, "and Salazar, I thought it would be enough even if it remained one-sided."

"You were the one to end it."

"And I am doing my best to make amends, am I not?"

"You are," I agreed without a moment's thought. "Which is surprising considering that you always were a spoiled pureblood heir."

"I was – I still am." He couldn't help but chuckle, watching as I outstretched my hand for the pawn he still held in his fist. With one last glance at my eyes, he set it into my palm and let me make my first move.

"Your move," I said, lifting my gaze expectantly from the chess board.

"I may be spoiled," he started, selecting a pawn as well and moving it to the next square, "but you love me regardless."

Spending a good moment studying the board, I reached for the next piece, only for my eyes to falter on both of the rings I had taken to wearing. Was this the moment, I wondered as I made my next move. Even if it wasn't, simply admitting everything would lift an almighty weight from my heart. And so, to ease that weight, I murmured, "I do."

Then, as I watched Lucius prepare to make his next move, he halted halfway through it. It was only after his eyes flickered uncertainly towards mine that I realised he had picked up on my use of the present tense. And, when he would ask me years later, I would tell him that before seeing the expression he made when he finally understood, I would never have believed he had such an expressive face.


	2. Epilogue: 4 Years Later

_4 YEARS LATER_

Wizarding Britain was at war, a war that threatened the carefully planned futures we were all striving towards, a war that would potentially tear my family apart. Much in a similar way that it had already affected dozens of families already. And _because_ we were in the middle of, what I was sure was, the height of the war, Dumbledore had asked that we all meet in the Order of the Phoenix safehouse. And so, naturally, we had all planned to gather together to come up with a strategy for our next move. But it was rarely so simple.

Very few of us had managed to make it to the safe house without running into trouble. It was sadly becoming a regular occurrence for members of the Order to run into trouble in the form of Voldemort's Death Eaters who were hell-bent on squashing the Order into non-existence. And Merlin, it was difficult for me to arrive here under strict cover because I was always to appear loyal to my husband, to the side he chose. If I appeared to even slightly be disloyal to Voldemort I would no doubt be killed – irrespective of the fact that I was carrying a new life within me.

Not that being on the side of the Order was easy either. The surname I bore, the father of the life I carried, were all enough of a reason for some people to consider me a spy. They were reluctant to trust me, despite how I proved time and time again that I _was_ trustworthy. It was more than a little disheartening but what mattered was that the people who were important to me trusted me and what more could I ask for?

Although, whenever my brother's friend's, the self-proclaimed Marauders, happened to hear snide remarks aimed at me, they were quick to shut them down. Godric, they were still so young – all of them – young adults who were being honed into weapons in order to survive and in the midst of it, they had lost one of their friends.

No one had been more surprised than I was when Lucius confided that partway through one of the Death Eater meetings, Peter was initiated into the fold. It had been hard for me to break the news to my brother, but what other choice was there? Even now I continued to protect Remus, and if I knew one of his friends was going to betray him, I didn't mind playing the bad guy and breaking his heart for a short moment.

And now, as I stood anxiously pacing before the fireplace, I continued to throw glances towards the open door of the room. I was waiting for the appearance of that very brother who had volunteered to be part of the party that was sent out to ensure that the Potters were safely escorted to the safe house. I continued my pacing, coming to a sudden still at the voices coming from the hallway.

James was the first to walk past the open door with Harry sleeping in his arms. Lily shared a look with her husband and I overheard the pair decide to put Harry to sleep in one of the beds upstairs before returning for the meeting. But I didn't give them much of my attention, instead, I walked into the open doorway and searched the corridor for Remus. I spied Sirius a short distance behind the Potter family but my brother was nowhere in sight. Clutching my hands together, I forced myself to take deep breaths; if something had happened to them, they would have told me by now. Surely?

But before my anxiety could skyrocket too high, my baby brother was there to clasp both of his hands around mine with a slight sigh. Just like that, the band around my lungs eased and I could breathe again. I spent a long moment, looking him over for outward signs of harm and when my eyes fixated onto the singed sleeve of his shirt, clearly created by a hex that had _just_ missed him, my bottom lip quivered.

"Honestly," Remus admonished quietly, releasing my hands and brushing a thumb over my cheek. It was only then that I realised that the tears I'd struggled so long to hide had spilled free. "Why are you crying?"

"My hormones are a mess," I justified, reaching up to brush a hand over his cheek.

"Well I'm fine," he assured me before adding, "and the escort you made sure I had is fine as well."

It was only at the news that his escort was fine, that I truly allowed myself to consider what would have happened if his partner hadn't been fine. Lucius, who bowed to my every whim had agreed to go along to watch Remus, even if the situation posed greater for him. Because that was the truth; if he was spied, Lucius would die that very night, leaving me a widow and his unborn son without a father. The true potential price of what I had asked of him was so grave that until that moment I selfishly didn't allow myself to ponder on it for long. But we had survived another day.

Releasing Remus, I allowed him to join Sirius in the meeting room and looked towards Lucius who had been hovering in the background, waiting for his turn. He continued to wait, watching me closely and for a moment I wondered if he felt guilty for allowing Remus to get so close to a curse. Did he think I blamed him for it? Perhaps he did because he moved to turn away.

"Lucius," I called out quietly and it was enough to halt him. When he turned to face me, I opened my arms for him and it was enough. He crossed the space between us, hugging me carefully and peppering kisses to the junction where my shoulder met my neck. Being able to hold him like this again prompted the release of a relieved breath as I brought a hand to his hair. "Thank Merlin, you're alright."

"Of course, I'm fine," he murmured and then we remained clutching each other in silence, both reluctant to part.

It was only when Dumbledore made his way around the house, asking for people to adjourn in the meeting room that we had to release one another. Even then Lucius was reluctant to let me go but slowly had to. Completely removing his arms from around me, he brought a hand up to rub it soothingly over the swell of my stomach. I watched him fondly for a long moment with a slight smile and reached out eventually to put my hand on top of his. He halted his movements, looking at me curiously.

Spying my smile, he was quick to return one of his own; he really had had more to gain by switching sides. Leaning in towards him, I pressed a lingering kiss to his lips before we really did have to join the rest of the Order for the meeting.


End file.
